Another Late Update

Sorry for the delay. I simply got distracted yesterday and forgot that it was Monday and therefore a posting day. Whoops!

Bean is finally better after over a week with a cold that quite simply kicked his ass. The doctor found no infection and his lungs were clear, so the fever was just his body fighting off the latest cold virus.




I have just learned that my girlfriend basically considers the word "mother" a dirty word, and doesn't like it used to refer to her. She likes "mum" or "mom" or "mama," but not the actual word. I don't get it, myself, and it seems to stem from having a childhood friend who always called her mother "Mother" with a capital 'M.' It sounds like her friend's mother was a piece of work, too.

Still, it was a bit jarring to be told: "Oh, but I'm not a mother," as though the word tasted like garbage on her tongue. I've always referred to my own mother that way, when speaking about her in the third person. When speaking to others, I tend to talk about "my girlfriend" or "Bean's mother," and now it sort of feels like I've been accidentally insulting her behind her back. It also feels like every time I use the word she associates bad things with my own parents (she has similar feelings about the word "father"), and I'm not sure what to do about that. She will refer to her mom and her dad, but the names I call my parents don't lend themselves well to that. It's not like she's specifically told me I shouldn't use those words anymore, but it feels a bit like I can't use them in her presence, lest I cause bad associations in her mind.

We had a bit of a difficult week, nomenclature problems aside. I returned home in time for Valentine's Day, and decided to make a special dinner for the family. I settled on French toast and strawberries, because I was relatively sure that Bean would eat that (I was half right, as it turned out). When I mentioned via text message that I was going out to get a few things for our Valentine's Day dinner, I got a reply that basically boiled down to "Don't bother." It was disheartening, to say the least. Now, she has a lot more baggage than I do when it comes to Valentine's Day. Up until last year I had always been single on Valentine's, and while that sort of sucked because it would have been nice to share it with someone, I didn't give it much more thought than that. My girlfriend, on the other hand, has had multiple relationships fail right around or even on Valentine's Day. So she doesn't go out of her way to celebrate.

I went ahead and got decorations anyway. I got three Mylar balloons in the shape of hearts, some paper Valentine's plates, and pink napkins. She arrived home a lot earlier than I did, along with Bean, so my plans to surprise them with an already decorated table were scuttled. She got annoyed with me about that, because apparently I misunderstood the time she'd be home, and that was cause for annoyance. I don't know, I got nothing.

Still, dinner itself was enjoyable. Bean misbehaved, wouldn't eat his French toast (but he did eat the strawberries and whipped cream), and eventually had to have his cutlery taken away because he was waving his knife around in a way that was really dangerous. He whined and screeched and squawked, but eventually settled down a little, enough that we were able to put on Sleeping Beauty to watch as a family. He fidgeted and fussed through the first 30 minutes, declared the movie "too long," and was obviously bored.

At that point my girlfriend decided to take a shower before Bean's bedtime, which makes sense as his room is right next to the bathroom and the sound of the shower keeps him up if he hasn't yet fallen asleep. He settled in more quietly with me, and began to truly enjoy the movie. By the time Aurora was following the green light sent by Maleficent to lure her to her doom, he was mesmerised. We still put him to bed before the end of the movie, because he was clearly tired out and not yet fully recovered from his cold.

Saturday was a little better. We spent a quiet morning together, and in the afternoon my girlfriend suggested a walk, as it was a nice day. Bean immediately demanded that I go with them, and since it sounded like a nice idea, I agreed. Then she got mad at me, because apparently her idea was to give me a break, and now I was ruining her plan to give me a break to do my writing. I explained that I'd actually already gotten a fair bit done that morning, and that I enjoyed going for walks, but she was still mad at me for quite a while, right up until we actually went out the door. After that things got better. We brought the dog along, walked to the end of the street to our local baking supply shop, picked up a few items for Bean's upcoming birthday party, and then walked back.

It was still mild enough that we were able to spend the next hour or so playing in the snow in our front yard. We dug out a big hole in the middle of the snow to make a fort, tried more or less successfully to create a snow slide, and watched as Bean and the dog romped around like mad in the huge snow banks. The dog was thrilled to bits, burying his nose in the snow and bouncing around like crazy, and we only reluctantly went in when we noticed that Bean had gotten snow up his sleeves and his arms had turned bright red from the cold. He did not want to come in, so there were more tears and drama until I suggested hot chocolate, which brightened his mood considerably. After all, there is nothing like playing outside in the snow and then coming in for hot chocolate afterward. It's like a childhood rite of passage. Unfortunately, by then the day was taking its toll, and Bean was fussy and cranky and forgot all his manners. He whined about not getting his hot chocolate right away, demanded more without so much as a please or thank you, insisted that his mother "play one game" on her computer with him, again without a please or a thank you, and then screeched and wailed when she said no.

I was out late Saturday with friends (first time in two months, in case you think that I spend my time neglecting my family in favour of going out), and Sunday morning I spent quietly with Bean while my girlfriend went to her cake decorating class. Bean was really, really good with me all morning. He played quietly, listened really well, went to the bathroom without it being a fight, and overall had a great morning.

After that it was time for me to leave to start another week of work, and so here I am, back in another city, just trying to get through the day. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment, which hopefully will help me solve the problem of my constant fatigue, memory issues and problems concentrating. It would be nice if we could find a treatable cause for all of the symptoms I've been having. I also have a therapy appointment in the morning, where hopefully we will work through some of the stuff that's been going on. I've been bad about doing my five minutes of mindfulness every day, so I should at least try to do that today and tomorrow before I go.

On that note, I shall leave you. Perhaps next week my post will not be a laundry list of everything that's happened during the week. ;)