What "Work" Really Means

So after a record five weeks of the new job, I finally got the "I'm here all the time and you're only here half the time," reproach that I'd been expecting. She held out longer than I thought she would before telling me that, to be honest. It still wasn't pleasant. Then she got upset because I was clenching my fist (it was either that or get really upset myself and say things I'd regret).

It appears that only she is allowed to find the present circumstances difficult. After all, I'm going on a 4-5 day vacation every time I commute 2.5 hours one-way to a different city in order to pay for the privilege of staying in an 8x11 foot room in a house that's not my own and work 12-hour shifts in order to keep a roof over all of our heads before commuting back.

She's doing the real work of going to class 2 hours a day and bringing Bean to daycare and bringing him home. She told me she feels like she's trying to fit 24 hours of work into a 12-hour day, which, okay. I get that a house is a lot of work, and Bean is a full-time job by himself. I would never dispute that.

The thing is, on my off days I work a second job doing translation contracts so that there won't be too much month left at the end of the money, since she has no income. So while I realise she thinks that I'm not doing anything, I'm working 90 hour weeks trying to keep things afloat financially. Just because she doesn't see me working, I guess she assumes that it must be all fun and games for me. Work is a lovely, relaxing thing that I do away from home, and when I am home of course I "slack off" by not immediately setting to and mopping floors or doing laundry (because I'm usually working on my translation stuff).

Short of burning out, I'm not sure what I can do about this situation. So far any attempt at discussion has failed, probably because emotions are running high on both sides. I'm exhausted and so is she, but she seems convinced that I can't possibly be tired because I sometimes get 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep (on average once every 7-10 days, which is admittedly more than she gets because she has trouble sleeping even on a good day).

So, I don't know. Anyway, this has been a rant. Carry on.